You hate to say it (or in the case love to say it) you LOVE anime and manga. You may have tried to distance yourself from the highly stylized animation and illustration style but it keeps on drawing you back with its interesting plotlines and all around awesomeness. You are an anime fan. You used Kawaii ironically only to have started to use it unironically once again. So embrace it we are both weeaboo trash and it's awesome.